
I have been where you are.
In my 50 years, I have lived many different diet and exercise programs and I can assure you it has not been a linear process. I have been fat / overweight. I have been through stages of extreme dieting and extreme exercising. I have suffered from disordered eating and starved myself down to 95 pounds. I know what it’s like to not want to look in the mirror. I know how it feels to hate being naked. I know how it feels to be so unhappy with your body that you hide it under layers of baggy clothes. I have been where you are.
I was constantly researching the latest diet and exercise strategies (and fads) searching desperately for that magic pill. Every time I heard about a new diet, I had to try it. You name it I’ve done it. I was frustrated that no matter how hard I tried I was never able to achieve lasting results.
After every failure (which was often) I always defaulted to the same behavior. And instead of figuring out why I had failed (or rather, what habits / behaviors had failed me), I’d move on to the next extreme diet / exercise strategy hoping this time things would be different.
I swung between rigid control or diligent restriction and uncontrolled release. I was either “on the wagon” or “off the wagon”. In between was what I call the “fuck it moment”, known formally as disinhibition. I spent my teens and twenties on a roller coaster ride of starvation diets, binge eating, diet pills, over-exercising, self-destructive, obsessive-compulsive behaviors, and lots of therapy.
Whenever I’d “fall off the wagon”, this confirmed the “I’m a failure” mindset. I became frustrated, demotivated, and even more convinced that I could not succeed. Or that I was somehow different and broken. I made my diet and exercise reflections of who I was as a person. When I was not what I would consider perfect I deemed myself a failure. My self-worth was based on my appearance. I compared myself to everyone around me, and I never quite measured up. At least not in my mind (huge self-limiting belief).
Because I didn’t trust myself, I would look for rules and regulations to follow. I didn’t have a basic idea of what reasonable eating looked like. So, I’d find some doctrine to live by. I spent years weighing and measuring everything I put in my mouth, counting calories, keeping a detailed food log, rigidly sticking to rules or plans. I used advanced strategies such as carb cycling, intermittent fasting, etc. I couldn’t see how unhealthy my “healthy” behaviors had become. By engaging in these behaviors so stringently and aggressively, my habits, thoughts, and feelings around food and eating (and training) had become disordered (again).
I struggled with all-or-nothing thinking and the "Either I'm perfect or I've failed" mentality. I started experiencing mental and emotional health problems such as anxiety and depression. My social relationships and other interests - which we need for overall wellness and quality of life - suffered. I couldn't detach my own self-concept from food and eating. Food and eating choices defined who I was. I was deeply attached to my strategies and outcomes. I was reluctant to give them up and was anxious about "losing control." I just accepted these things as trade-offs if I wanted to look and / or perform a certain way. But when I was honest with myself, I had to admit that I really wasn't living happily (or sanely). My "healthy eating" had passed the point of being healthy.
I had to admit that I had, once again, developed an unhealthy psychological and emotional relationship with food. I came to the realization that I had been using food to numb out, escape, or self soothe when I was dissatisfied with other areas of my life. It became a compulsion. I wasn't actually hungry for food, but I couldn't stop eating. And I can assure you, I wasn’t bingeing on chicken breast, steamed broccoli, and sweet potatoes. It was what Melissa Hartwig, co-founder of Whole30, calls “foods with no breaks” – the nutrient-poor, calorie-dense, low-satiety foods that promote overconsumption – the stuff that once I start eating, I just can’t stop (pizza, cookies, chips, ice cream, chocolate, etc.).
I ate for comfort and reward and to manage my emotions or unwanted physical feelings (such as boredom, stress, loneliness, or anxiety). I tried to fill that void or emptiness or anxiousness with food. It (sometimes) worked temporarily because it numbed me out. But usually, it left me still wanting. I knew from experience that this was a sign that something – some part of me – was wanting my attention. Perhaps I had been working too much, and self-care had been put on hold… Or I was wanting more quality / social time with friends and family… Or I wasn’t prioritizing sleep and/or stress management. But instead of recognizing the message in this “hunger” I only seemed to recognize the feelings of dissatisfaction or anxiety and quickly turned to food to medicate myself.
I understand that using food as comfort, to feel good, and to stop feeling bad isn’t a problem on its own. Almost all of us do it sometimes. It’s normal and it makes sense. The problem happens when:
We do it to excess.
We can’t or don’t stop when we’re satisfied.
We don’t have any other way of creating connection or comfort or managing our feelings.
We feel out of control or compelled to do it.
Check, check, check, and check.
FAST FORWARD...
My story today is that of the hero who has overcome adversity and has become transformed as a result. Through research, experience, trial-and-error, self-examination, and self-experimentation I have developed a sustainable plan that creates real significant lasting results. With multiple certifications and 25+ years of experience in the health and fitness industry in a variety of outlets, I can relate to and assist a wide variety of individuals seeking self-improvement through exercise, fitness, nutrition, and habit change. I have dedicated my career and my life to empowering people by giving them the tools to live a more health- and fitness-focused lifestyle. I achieve this through:
progressive, systematic, results-driven training methods
the application of strategic, individualized, goal-focused nutrition
the utilization of strategies and methods scientifically proven to help people uncover their own self-limiting beliefs that could be holding them back from achieving their true potential in all areas of life.
My goal is to draw from my experience and share what has worked for me, the specific actions I took, and the habit change strategies I employed that have allowed transformation to happen and resulted in lasting change. I want to share any details of my journey that may help you reach the same results in your life, even if your path looks slightly different from mine.
You may be thinking....
"But my eating is not disordered," or
"I don't need to change my life. I just want to lose (or gain) a few pounds," or
"I don't need to lose weight. I just want to get control of my eating habits, so I feel better, healthier, have more energy, etc.," or
"I know WHAT to do. I just need to DO IT."
You may have an "expert" level of knowledge, perhaps even a graduate degree in nutrition... but you do not actually DO fundamental behaviors consistently. And, for that reason, you are not seeing results...
I CAN HELP YOU...
Jump-start your metabolism
End the vicious cycle and get rid of those addictive foods that leave you feeling toxic
Reset your taste buds to desire healthier and more natural foods
Eliminate your cravings for starchy, sugary foods
Change your relationship with and attitude towards food and create life-long healthy habits
Increase awareness of destructive habits, such as: overeating, eating too much of something and not enough of something else, life revolving around food, eating for fuel and function vs. emotional eating
Identify what your cues and triggers are that stimulate a particular food response (desired or detrimental)
Discover which foods are causing bloating, inflammation, intolerances, and weight gain
Look at several of the most common limiting factors that most clients struggle with when it comes to fitness, health, and nutrition, and learn how you can start working through them.
Learn the basics of macronutrients and portion sizing and how to eat the right amount (in the proper balance) for YOUR needs and goals
Learn how to meet your protein, vegetable, carb, fat, and calorie needs without having to count a gram or weight an ounce of food.
Get back into a consistent workout routine
Build habits that will ensure proper functioning of the body and foster a positive mindset.
Understand how habits work and teach you success strategies you can use to build positive habits and eliminate negative ones.
Gain clarity on the type of person you want to grow to become and build a strong internal narrative with behavior priming mantras that will support you in your journey.
Successfully introduce several key positive habits and practices to benefit different areas of your life and reinforce them to the point where they are “automatic”, eliminating the need for constant willpower and motivation.
Easily track your progress and record your small wins daily and weekly, helping you stay accountable and focused, and in this way, build positive momentum and motivation to keep improving.
Bring awareness to areas that may be sabotaging your success that you aren’t even aware of, as well as making sure your mindset and beliefs are in alignment with what you want to create in your external world
Stay motivated, and connect with the Moxie Community.
Whether you are just getting started, coming back, or continuing a solid path, this is your opportunity to nail down the basics and take charge of your health, fitness, and well-being. I have put together a comprehensive plan to help people BE better - physically, emotionally, and mentally - and I will be right here to provide guidance, accountability, and support!
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